We all seek partnerships in one way or another. Mostly, we seek romantic partnerships because these involve sex which is undoubtedly worth the bullshit we often put up with.
For a time, that is.
Science has decided what “love” is. Love is the stimulating of reward circuitry in the brain, driven by neurotransmitters like dopamine and serotonin, which flood our self-awareness with incredibly intense feelings of warmth and security. These feelings provide the contexts for other feelings, like openness and protectiveness, all of which give our lives meaning.
But these neurotransmitters, and the reward circuits they exploit, are non-discriminating. They just want you to blow your seed (if you’re a guy) or pick a safe, strong and committed provider (if you’re a girl). I know this seems dichotomous, and simplistic, but it’s biology and we need to just be honest with ourselves at some point.
So, the misty romanticism we all seek hides a simplistic chemical circuitry imbued in all mammals.
The intensity you feel for that new girl who talks to you late at night, and who sucks your dick, is duplicable with any similarly attractive female. That deeply moving sense of commitment you feel towards your new wife is duplicable with any similarly fertile and healthy, attractive young female. It is not unique, but it feels unique. If it felt inauthentic and off, that is, a bit fake, you wouldn’t be so excited to blow your seed in her. If nothing less, you’d blow it in her less often. And women, you’d seek that sex, and that commitment and that attention a little less feverishly.
It fucking pains me to write this. It is obvious if you are savvy, or barely discernible if you are an educated idiot. It is inaccessible if you are a fool. I don’t write for any particular audience, because I can’t be bothered with the specific concerns of a specific sub-set of the festering lot of humanity.
Meaning is wired in our brain to come in romantic flavors, but once you see the ingredients of this elixir it loses more than its luster, it loses its value.